So, I was a bit unwell last week and craved a day of sick leave to lay around in bed and recover. Mumming doesn’t come with sick leave though right?!
Honestly, I felt resentful of the situation.
I mumbled around the house telling myself that it doesn’t matter to anyone that I’m sick, which slowly started to sound something like
‘As long as the kids are dressed and fed and all their wishes are granted, it doesn’t matter that I’m sick – I don’t matter.’
Then.
I got sick again (on a weekend) and did spend the day in bed. I heard Perry asking multiple times if I was okay, if I was going to join them on their trip to the park, if I would be out of bed for dinner time. They even came home with flowers for me.
The thing is – I realised that it’s not that I don’t matter, it’s that I matter more to them then I will ever know.
Sometimes, they don’t have the language (or the actions) to show it. But I’m trusting that this is a truer story than the one I was telling myself. It’s the story I wanted to share with you, because you also matter more than you will ever know, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
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