I thought recovery from a thyroidectomy would be really straight forward.
In fact, my surgeon said, two weeks. I should be fine in two weeks. I didn't realise that he meant my physical scar only.
Like lots of things, I was fairly unprepared for the post surgery journey to be so arduous.
I mean you pop a (working on it) perfectionist on a pathway to recovery and she expects it to be short & linear with easy progress steps to 'achieve.' She doesn't expect cancer, changes to her period, mental highs and lows, energy dips and physical changes she hasn't experienced before.
She's not prepared for breakthroughs & breakdowns, she's not prepared for feeling like she's restarting over and over again. She's not prepared for letting things go and letting things be. She's not prepared for new perspectives or new feelings about a bunch of related and seemingly unrelated things.
You might wonder why I didn't expect this, I mean I did have a major hormonal disruption in my body. Isn't it to be expected?
I suppose it is in some ways, but I'm more convinced now that we can never predict which experiences will come along and shake us up.
We don't know what will provide us the opportunity to re-discover who we are, re-imagine how we want to show up or re-iterated what we want to share & do in this life.
It almost sounds magical, doesn't it, and sometimes it is, other times though it can be hard. Like really hard.
If you're on a journey that is not as linear as you expected, make the space & allow yourself all the grace in the world to move forward as you need. I'm right here doing this unpredictable, messy & glorious human-ing thing with you (and I'll let you in on a little secret - everyone else is too, they just might not be telling us about it.)
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