Over the past 5 years I’ve slowly changed the way I make decisions. I’m not sure if it has come from living with anxiety, having kids or generally getting older and having ‘bigger’ decisions to make, it’s likely a mix of it all, but I’ve changed. I now believe that most decisions are educated guesses and while we do our best with what we know, we are making choices based on a little information and a whole lot of hope. Realising this has been slightly daunting but also freeing. Freeing because it allows me to let go of expecting myself to make the exact right decision every single time and trying to anxiously predict the future. Instead of allowing anxiety to guide my decisions, I now try to go with what brings me the most peace. I’ve learned to trust that gut feeling (you might call it intuition) and become okay with choosing differently if something isn’t sitting right with me. It means that I’m okay with making a different choice to someone else and also allows me to hold space for people that choose differently to me. I’ve also learned that it’s okay to change my mind. It’s okay to see how something goes or feels and decide otherwise if it isn’t working. I guess it’s being fine with saying, ‘let’s try it’ or ‘I got it wrong’ without the pressure for it to be permanent and without labeling ourselves as fickle or indecisive. My check in on decisions that I’m grappling with is this – what brings me the most peace and what would happen if I changed my mind.
Sometimes it might be delaying the decision. Sometimes it might be going with the scary but exciting option. Sometimes it might be choosing the unpopular choice but either way, I am trusting more and more how decisions feel in my body and it feels better, lighter maybe.
As Mama’s, we have lots of different choices to make, especially at the moment. We are all trying to do the best for our families. Sometimes it might feel overwhelming. Maybe this little check in will help with your decisions, maybe it will help us understand other people’s decisions a little more and hopefully it will bring you a whole lot of peace. What’s your go to decision making hack?
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